A
Smile. It's that moment when a look of joy or happiness or amusement
spreads across the face of someone and the corners of their mouths turn
upwards in that unmistakable display of emotion that is recognisable to
all. Time. It's the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.
But
how do you smile when time is against you, when you know that time is
running out? How do you smile and be thankful when you know your child
is dying, and you are faced with making memories as fast as possible
before it's too late?
You
just do. You smile because every single moment is too precious to
waste. You smile so that when the end is near, you will have so many
happy memories of those special times spent laughing and smiling.
Time
is against my son, and that means time is against me as well. In fact,
it's against my whole family. Whereas most families assume they will
have many years together, making memories and cherishing each other, for
many of us that will not be possible. It’s true, we all looked down
upon our newborns in our arms and assumed we’d have time on our side,
and rushing would be an option and not a necessity. And yet that's not
the case. Time is not our friend. In fact, it's a foolish notion to
think that time is on anyone's side at all. And that's why we all need
to live our lives, we all need to see as much as we can see and do as
much as we can do. Because your life could end tomorrow and you might
have put off something amazing that you could have done today. If your
life ends tomorrow, you will never have the chance to experience it.
And
that is why I smile. Because I am one of the lucky ones that
understands life is fragile and bad things happen randomly, to anyone
and at any time.
My
son has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, a degenerative muscle wasting
disease. It is both incurable and terminal. His life will be both
compromised and not very long. Chances are he will never fall in love
and get married or become a father, drive a car or a motorcycle,
backpack around the world or ski down the highest mountains, go on
surfing safaris or hike through jungles, and he definitely won't be able
to play professional rugby or cycle in the Tour De France. And yet,
like any typical little boy, he has dreams of doing all of those things
and more. And that's where we, his parents, can help him achieve some of
his dreams.
In
his 9 years, he has lived in 4 countries (Japan, Singapore, England,
and Australia) and visited 22. He has seen Mount Fuji, cheered
at knight-jousting tournaments in the grounds of a medieval castle, gone
to Cambodia and Indonesia, skiied slalom in Austria, looked for the
Loch Ness Monster and visited St Andrews in Scotland, ridden on an
elephant in Thailand, gone on a bullet train in Tokyo, driven through
New Zealand with his Dad and Pop, attended the Rugby World Cup, met and
hugged the Prime Minister of Australia, had lunch in Italy, done the
Sound of Music tour in Salzburg, climbed the Eiffel Tower and driven
down the Champs Elysees, been in awe at the sight of the Grand Canyon
and Yosemite, and swum in the beautiful blue waters surrounding Phi Phi
in Thailand. He has played cricket and rugby, ridden a motorbike, gone
on a helicopter ride to the top of a glacier, laughed his head off on
jetboat and a roller coaster, jumped on a trampoline, gone to
Disneyland, had lunch with Orca whales, and snorkelled with tropical
reef fish. He's seen Stonehenge, played golf, met some of rugby's
greatest ever players, and the odd B-grade celebrity. He's seen the
changing of the guard at Windsor Castle, and he's seen a ghost. He's had
snow fights and he's swum in the middle of the ocean. He's surfed, he's
learned to ride a bike, he's flown business class, and he's had 3
siblings born after him that he could dote on. Oh yes, I've had many
people in both the Duchenne community and medical profession tell me
that he shouldn't be doing this or that, because it will cause even more
damage to his muscles, but that isn't my main concern. I want him to
experience as much as he can, even if it is just once and fleeting. And
then he can say he's done it. He can tick it off his metaphorical bucket
list, a list which we have written up as he doesn't yet know at 9 years
of age everything he wants to see and do in his lifetime.
As
morbid as this may sound, I hope that when James gets to the end of his
life he will look back and know that he's done more in his short and
compromised life than most people will do in an entire 70-100 years. He
may not achieve all his dreams, but he will have lived, he will have
laughed, and he will have smiled. Even with time against him.
If
you read this and take anything away from it to apply to your own life,
then let it be this - be thankful for the time you have. Life is too
short and too precious to put things off. Life is for living. So go out
and live. If I can help my son live an entire lifetime in only 9 years,
imagine what you can do in seventy. Or eighty. Or even a hundred.
ABOUT ME
Sharyn
Thompson is a mum of four, and a wife of one. Living on the Gold Coast,
on the east coast of australia, she spends most of her time ferrying
her children around, cooking, cleaning, capturing memories on her
camera, or editing late into the night. Her children were born in Tokyo,
Singapore and London, and they have spent the past 13 years seeing the
world. She loves her photography and can't live without it - for her, it
is an escape and therapy to help get through the dark times she has
looking after a child with a chronic illness, as well as a way of
documenting memories. She makes sure her family values their time on
this earth, each other, and the opportunities they have been given.
Everyone in the world needs to read this incredible story. You are a true inspiration Sharyn. I am humbled by this story and I am grateful for meeting you.
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